So many sad, but true issues were covered here, some of which have touched my friends and family personally. Society has degraded in many ways due to many causes and influences which, in truth, are the choices that we make.
When each of us attain to love and forgive ourselves and others, totally and unconditionally, then many of these woes will turn around. Changing the world is as simple as changing one's perspective by accepting and loving what is before you.
Honestly, of all the women I know who got divorced, I can only think of one situation where both spouses were at fault.
All the other women had damn good reasons for divorcing their husbands.
A common pattern is that most women tell their husbands repeatedly what is wrong for years, in an effort to make the marriage work. The husbands don't take them seriously. And then the husband says he is blindsided when his wife wants a divorce. I myself told my husband for YEARS that I could not forever bear certain things, but those things never changed.
Here is an article with women telling why they got divorced in their own words. Women don't give up that easily, but instead get worn down by the indifference of their husbands.
Also, I can count on one hand the people who know why I got divorced, and have fingers left over.
There were so many reasons, many of them too personal for me to feel comfortable talking about. Talking about the reasons also feels like an invasion of HIS privacy.
Because of this, I make it a rule never to ask anyone why they got a divorce. No one is entitled to a list of the personal flaws of someone's ex.
@lorri I wonder lorri to some extent is it because some boys growing up they either had no male role model, or they had so called men that they themselves were raised and trained by other men that never learned either how to pay attention or they just learned how to get a woman's clothes off and ignore anything else. Because I'm sure for instance there's father's out there that know how to listen to there wives and they hopefully turn around and raise there sons on how to listen and pay attention.
Divorce & Marriage are another topic and channeling session, frankly.
OK folks, ask your questions here, to consult The Committee.
Scott, I think many men are not socialized to listen in the first place, or take women's concerns seriously in the second place.
In the case of my marriage, it was more a combination that my husband didn't understand that his habits were creating a ticking time bomb for our marriage, and changing those things may have been impossible for him anyway.
He and I are still friends, so I avoid getting into details because it feels wrong. There were enough reasons for the divorce that I filled six pages in minutes when I was weighing it out.
I considered whether counseling would help, and I knew it would NOT.
The only thing I feel comfortable with telling total strangers, is that one of his problems was that he was a chain smoker. He smoked three packs per day. It was greatly affecting his health and impacting our marriage. And it was greatly affecting MY HEALTH. There was a constant cloud of smoke in our living room and I felt like I was choking all the time. I could never breathe a breath of fresh air. If I asked him to smoke outside, he got angry.
Today, he has COPD and can hardly breathe after DECADES of chain smoking. He can't exert himself physically, so now he is extremely limited in activity. It is very sad. I would have developed COPD or throat cancer myself if I had stayed.
The other reasons for the divorce were behavioral, and those I will not go into.
I was just thinking of three men close to my age I was friends with. All of them confided in me their reasons for filing for divorce, and I can say that their reasons were totally valid.
Two of the men had the role reversal of a wife that wouldn't listen. Both tried and tried to tell their wives that their relationship was going south, and had their concerns dismissed.
However, the divorce rate is actually going down now - partly because fewer are getting married, and the marriages that do happen are between well-educated and stable couples who have low divorce rates. Marriage has become a luxury item and young people who are doing poorly economically simply don't marry. Poorer couples however, are having a lot of children out of wedlock now.
Here are some EXTREMELY DETAILED STATISTICS on divorce. Very eye-opening!
@lorri I agree the statistics are insane but a thought occurred to me. If you need to get a license to drive or own a gun among other things than why isn't marriage counseling mandatory for getting a marriage license. Because unless I'm wrong and please inform me if I am, but to get a marriage license you just need to fill out the paperwork and fee and what's not required is showing that both people are mature and responsible enough to actually be married in the first place.
Someone close to me has repeatedly stressed that his struggles with dating include his height. While I have acknowledged this may be a cause, I am stunned to see the % indicated by TC! What advice does TC have for a male in this situation seeking a romantic partner?
Simple. Date women who are also vertically challenged.
My ex-husband was the shortest man I ever dated. My last boyfriend was 6' 3" and I'm only 5' 3".
I didn't enjoy such a mismatch in height. It's awkward to hug each other and he always stored objects so high up that I could never reach anything!
"Only" five foot three? (1m60 for metric fans) That's close to the midpoint, isn't it?
I'm 1m88 (6' 2") my wife 5 foot even (1m52) I can't imagine being less than at least a foot taller than her. Now I have to ask if she ever cared about my height. I have to ask my daughter if it means anything also.
Her sister's husband is 1m92, but her sister's the same height. I see a pattern.
Well Patrick, do you put things on high shelves where your wife can't reach them? ;)
The Committee says:
"He must be open, honest and direct, cite male height percentiles and ask a woman if she will only consider 5 to 10% of men. The answer will inform him.
He can lessen exposure to height exclusive women through participation in social settings and institutions where less visual emphasis occurs.
Combinations of popular culture, genetics and subconscious female motivation are not obstacles, but rather challenges worth overcoming.
The female who would exclude him based on height alone is not worth his time."
Yeah, online dating would not be to his advantage. People in general are pickier about appearances when all they see is a picture, with no context for what the person is like in person.
As Sigmund Freud would attribute many people's mental problem to a problematic childhood or childhood trauma, many people nowadays blame their addiction problem to society, poverty, discrimination, abusive parents, and/or everything else.
Not sure what happened to personal responsibility in this new age.
Of course life is no picnic, and shit happens all the time. This is why we choose incarnation, to experience failure, misfortune, and challenge. Because this is the best and fastest way for our soul to grow. Every mistake and set-back is a valuable lesson. Otherwise, we could stay in heaven where there is no hunger, illness, hostility, aging, or mishap.
This is easier said than done, and that is why we have Patrick and the GAG to remind us of the truth and who we really are back home. Lifetime on earth is just a class, we should try our best, but not to take everything too seriously.
Dear Patrick & C.
Thank you fir this post ;)
It is so damn crammed with infos, that it would take me forever, to arrange a meaningful set of questions. :D :D
Still elaborating your couple of chapters form your book...
Have a nice day
Wow. Some big truth bombs being dropped by TC in their inimitable style